Friday, April 24, 2015
Additions To The Funeral Speech For My Mother-in-Law Pearl - How It Might Help You
Speech Draft And Suggested Revisions
I sent the first draft of my funeral speech to Gil at HOD Toastmasters, a very experienced speaker. She said, 'Don't I just say that Pearl was happy, but give concrete evidence, for example, that she always smiled, or told you that she was happy.'
After the funeral, I carried the printed version of my funeral speech to show to those unable to attend. I was hoping to find corroboration of what I had said, or further facts and insights.
Pearl's Exercise Routine Corroborated
After the funeral, I carried the printed version of my funeral speech to show to those unable to attend. I was hoping to find corroboration of what I had said, or further facts and insights.
Pearl's Exercise Routine Corroborated
Pearl had told me, "I used to touch my toes." I was not sure whether she had shown me once, or whether I had imagined it.
Sharon, a manager of Heath House, care home, said of Pearl:
"When she first came in she used to show us how she could touch her toes - and all her exercises."
There was my evidence.
Sharon, a manager of Heath House, care home, said of Pearl:
"When she first came in she used to show us how she could touch her toes - and all her exercises."
There was my evidence.
Drinking In Moderation
Sharon read what I had said about Pearl not drinking except for a glass of sherry. Sharon said,
"She used to have a sherry at the Blue Check restaurant (where residents would have an outing for lunch on Wednesdays). She also had a sherry here. (At Christmas parties)."
"She told us about her (late) husband David. She said he was a good man. And that he'd been a hairdresser, and barber. She remembered a lot about the past. She answered the questions in quizzes.
"Yes, she loved music. She liked the tambourine you shake with your hand inside it and it lights up in time with the music. As soon as she heard music she lit up. She made residents happy with her singing.
"The turning point was her last fall. She had two falls in quick succession. But she'd recovered from her earlier stay in hospital. She was strong. She was a fighter.
"She was always talking about Anthony, who used to come and take her out on Saturdays in his car. At first I thought he must be her son. Then I realised he was her grandson.
Pearl's Friendships & Socializing
Sharon read what I had said about Pearl not drinking except for a glass of sherry. Sharon said,
"She used to have a sherry at the Blue Check restaurant (where residents would have an outing for lunch on Wednesdays). She also had a sherry here. (At Christmas parties)."
"She told us about her (late) husband David. She said he was a good man. And that he'd been a hairdresser, and barber. She remembered a lot about the past. She answered the questions in quizzes.
"Yes, she loved music. She liked the tambourine you shake with your hand inside it and it lights up in time with the music. As soon as she heard music she lit up. She made residents happy with her singing.
"The turning point was her last fall. She had two falls in quick succession. But she'd recovered from her earlier stay in hospital. She was strong. She was a fighter.
"She was always talking about Anthony, who used to come and take her out on Saturdays in his car. At first I thought he must be her son. Then I realised he was her grandson.
Pearl's Friendships & Socializing
Pearl's son, Trevor, said: "When she lived over the road at Home Cedars, she had started refusing to mix with the other ladies downstairs. (She became reclusive.) Then after she moved into Heath House, where she knew nobody, she was really keen to see her old friends and invite them over."
Pearl's Sister Darling Daphne
Pearl's Sister Darling Daphne
I mentioned, "Pearl kept the photo of her late sister Daphne in her room. Pearl stayed friends with Daphne's widowed husband's second wife, Ruth, the step-mother of her nieces. Ruth, Pearl's sister in law, a dark-haired lady, used to visit Pearl here."
Sharon remembered, "Yes, I remember Ruth coming to visit Pearl."
I said, "Ruth had worked at a hospital. That's where she met her husband."
Pearl's Brother-in-Law Ken
Trevor explained: "Ken was an orderly at Slough hospital, like Ruth. He just worked in the hospital, never travelled overseas by plane. He'd been a rear-gunner in the war (WWII). Rear gunners were at the back of the plane and enemy aircraft pilots would approach from the behind and shoot at them at the back of the plane. Rear-gunners had a life expectancy of two weeks."
Pearl's Carers
Another member of staff said goodbye to Sharon and as she left, patted Sharon's arm. I had noticed how chatty and cheerful and tactile all the staff are. I suppose you have to be that type, ready to help the elderly to walk along the corridor, take their arms, help them out of their wing armchairs, back into high dining chairs, or into their beds, reassure them.
Pearl had been in the Nightingales care home for nine years.
Where To Spend Retirement
Sharon remembered, "Yes, I remember Ruth coming to visit Pearl."
I said, "Ruth had worked at a hospital. That's where she met her husband."
Pearl's Brother-in-Law Ken
Trevor explained: "Ken was an orderly at Slough hospital, like Ruth. He just worked in the hospital, never travelled overseas by plane. He'd been a rear-gunner in the war (WWII). Rear gunners were at the back of the plane and enemy aircraft pilots would approach from the behind and shoot at them at the back of the plane. Rear-gunners had a life expectancy of two weeks."
Pearl's Carers
Another member of staff said goodbye to Sharon and as she left, patted Sharon's arm. I had noticed how chatty and cheerful and tactile all the staff are. I suppose you have to be that type, ready to help the elderly to walk along the corridor, take their arms, help them out of their wing armchairs, back into high dining chairs, or into their beds, reassure them.
Pearl had been in the Nightingales care home for nine years.
***
Where To Spend Retirement
On the way home, we discussed where we would like to end our days, You could sell your home and holiday on cruise ships for ten years, with all the food, cleaning, travel, company, drinks between meals, and doctor and hospital on board. Even get buried at sea. Or live in a hotel.
Coping With Other People's Alzheimer's
You have to be very patient to deal with people who need to be persuaded to come to the table to eat, and go to bed. Who keep repeating the same questions. Who can't remember your name.
Coping With Other People's Alzheimer's
You have to be very patient to deal with people who need to be persuaded to come to the table to eat, and go to bed. Who keep repeating the same questions. Who can't remember your name.
Compared to some of the inmates who ended up shouting non-stop, sat sullenly, or did nothing but hug a doll, Pearl with her smile, dancing and singing must have been a delight, relatively speaking. I am sure the care home staff are genuine when they say, "We will miss her."
Sharon sighed and said, 'I 'lost' four people last weekend, in addition to the six between Christmas and the Monday when Pearl died. But there's a waiting list, the rooms will soon be filled again." For the staff at Heath House, the daily duties of caring for those who need care will go on.
If you had to go into a care home, judging by the way they cared for Pearl, I would recommend Heath House. I am happy that Pearl spent her final days amongst such caring people.
If you had to go into a care home, judging by the way they cared for Pearl, I would recommend Heath House. I am happy that Pearl spent her final days amongst such caring people.
Labels: cruise, Daphne, hotel, Ken, Nightingales care home, Pearl, rear-gunner, Ruth, Sharon, Slough hospital, Trevor
Tuesday, December 02, 2014
Evaluating Ruth's Speech on Medieval History
The purpose of Toastmasters International is to train you to give speeches outside Toastmasters and Ruth's advanced speech fulfilled that ultimate purpose when she rehearsed her speech on Medieval History. Her speech was to be given to the history group of the U3A, the University of the Third Age - mostly retired people with time to indulge in researching their interests.
When I listen to a speech I ask myself:
What do I know about this subject?
What does the speaker know and is the speaker on expert? and
What do I want to know - what's in it for me?
I know very little about medieval history so I expect to get information. But that might be dull or confusing, so I hoped it would be easy to understand and entertaining.
She began with an overview. The main events of the periods were famine, the plague and the peasants' revolt. I'd heard of the latter two, especially the plague. But the subject of this summary or excerpt was something jollier, food. Ruth as a retired tea-shop owner has food running through many of her interests and speeches.
She started by explaining the middle ages or Medieval period, 5th to 15th centuries.
My first recommendation, or suggestion, was that she might have related the period to a well known person, the king or queen or kings and queens of the time.
Or the common people. Were they post-Roman? Celts? Vikings? Before Henry the Vth and Elizabeth Ist? William the Conqueror and Harold in 1066 when the word boeuf came into the language? Who were these poor people and rich people?
She enlisted our sympathy by saying they were like us. She involved our imagination by suggesting we walk through the door of the cottage or the castle and look at what is cooking or what is on the table.
The poor people had potage, a thick soup or casserole, kept on the go from the vegetables in their garden. (I wonder when the fashion for flowers and lawns started? In those days the kitchen garden was the normal garden, like the allotments of modern times.)
Everybody in the Harrovian Toastmasters audience winced at the description of blood taken from living animals to make blood pudding. Yet, she could have pointed out that leaving the animal alive is kinder than killing the animal for meat. Blood is still taken from living animals in our times by the Masais (in East Africa, in Southern Kenya and Northern Tanzania).
(Ruth described the lord's house where we would see the use of bread as a trencher or plate and water scented with rose petals.)
I said that Ruth ended by answering what's in it for us by ending, how happy she is to be living not in medieval times but today.
I suggested she could have gone one better, by making this her title. She could make her start and end more memorable and dramatic by picking a quotation about medieval times, or a quotation from somebody in medieval times to start and end the speech.
I was surprised and delighted to be awarded the ribbon for Best Evaluator. Thank you Ruth for the opportunity.
When I listen to a speech I ask myself:
What do I know about this subject?
What does the speaker know and is the speaker on expert? and
What do I want to know - what's in it for me?
I know very little about medieval history so I expect to get information. But that might be dull or confusing, so I hoped it would be easy to understand and entertaining.
She began with an overview. The main events of the periods were famine, the plague and the peasants' revolt. I'd heard of the latter two, especially the plague. But the subject of this summary or excerpt was something jollier, food. Ruth as a retired tea-shop owner has food running through many of her interests and speeches.
She started by explaining the middle ages or Medieval period, 5th to 15th centuries.
My first recommendation, or suggestion, was that she might have related the period to a well known person, the king or queen or kings and queens of the time.
Or the common people. Were they post-Roman? Celts? Vikings? Before Henry the Vth and Elizabeth Ist? William the Conqueror and Harold in 1066 when the word boeuf came into the language? Who were these poor people and rich people?
She enlisted our sympathy by saying they were like us. She involved our imagination by suggesting we walk through the door of the cottage or the castle and look at what is cooking or what is on the table.
The poor people had potage, a thick soup or casserole, kept on the go from the vegetables in their garden. (I wonder when the fashion for flowers and lawns started? In those days the kitchen garden was the normal garden, like the allotments of modern times.)
Everybody in the Harrovian Toastmasters audience winced at the description of blood taken from living animals to make blood pudding. Yet, she could have pointed out that leaving the animal alive is kinder than killing the animal for meat. Blood is still taken from living animals in our times by the Masais (in East Africa, in Southern Kenya and Northern Tanzania).
(Ruth described the lord's house where we would see the use of bread as a trencher or plate and water scented with rose petals.)
I said that Ruth ended by answering what's in it for us by ending, how happy she is to be living not in medieval times but today.
I suggested she could have gone one better, by making this her title. She could make her start and end more memorable and dramatic by picking a quotation about medieval times, or a quotation from somebody in medieval times to start and end the speech.
Here's Ruth again, looking very happy and relaxed now her speech is over and has been evaluated.
I was surprised and delighted to be awarded the ribbon for Best Evaluator. Thank you Ruth for the opportunity.
President Indra Sikdar presents ribbon for best evaluation to Angela Lansbury.
Labels: allotment, blood pudding, Harrovians, Indra, Masai, medieval, president, Ruth, Toastmasters International, trencher
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Competition Time
The contest was attended by VIP guest Keith Toms, Honorary Alderman. We are old friends. Both old and both friends. I think he is friends with everybody.
He gave a great speech. I was flabbergasted to learn he once invented a Bulgarian expert to quote. When a BBC reporter checked up and said accusingly, 'The BBC archive has no record of this man,' Keith Toms retorted, 'That just shows how bad the BBC archive is!'
A sure fire winner for a Humorous Speech contest or Tall Tales event.
In this picture you see Keith Toms far left, Ruth Vishnick, a past president of Harrovians, Indra Sikdar, a founding member, At the back, current President of Harrovians, tall Gosbert Chagula, and I am at the front right, your speaker and reporter and Immediate Past President, Angela Lansbury.
Winners of the contests were Gosbert and Indra, Speech Contest, Gosbert and Angela Evaluation contest.
Member Ben Piersen far left, Sara, our timer, Lorna - Toastmaster of the evening, in her slimming style dress (also called an illusion dress) from Macy's in Florida, David Vardy, a guest, Ruth Vishnick, Indra Sikdar.
If you are free on Monday evenings in London come to Harrovian Speakers. Meeting fortnightly at Glebe Hall, Glebe Road, off the Broadway, by Sainsbury's in the centre of Stanmore shopping centre. The bus stop almost outside is the H12 to Hatch End. A short walk from Stanmore underground station.
see harrovians.org.uk or
Toastmasters International Find A Club
Labels: BBC, certificate, Evaluation contest, Gosbert, Harrovians Speakers' Club, Honorary Alderman, Indra, Keith Toms, president, Ruth, Speech Contest, Tall Tales, Toastmasters International, Winners
