Monday, July 17, 2017

 

My Mentor and My Musical Props

My first mentor was Indra who taught me to use props. 
My first speech described how I was an author. He asked, "Have you any props, books?" I had several books but the most relevant to a n audience of speakers was my book on Wedding Speeches and Toasts.

 I mentioned living in the USA. He asked me, "Do you have a flag or hat or piece of clothing?" I had a cowgirl hat. 

Then I went on to take about Singapore. He asked, "Do you have any prop, flag, map, clothing, or hat?" I had a Chinese Coolie hat.

I am obsessive about props. They have proved valuable when performing on You tube and doing stand up comedy and humorous speeches. I have dozens of hats, musical instruments such as miniature pianos which play Happy Birthday To You. 

I ought to bring one to a meeting every time somebody has a birthday. Statistics say that with 31 members and a meeting every month or fortnight, we must have a birthday nearly every meeting.
Being a mentor or mentee can start or cement a friendship and status. My mentee Warren Sheng used to mention at meetings how I had helped him with his speeches. I still frequently mention my first mentor Indra.

Angela Lansbury, Advanced Communicator Gold, Competent Leader. Secretary of HOD, mentor co-ordinator at Harrovians. Member of Braddell Heights Advanced Toastmasters in Singapore.

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Wednesday, July 12, 2017

 

Dangers of Teasing, Dares, Bad Behaviour

Problem
A boy was killed by an allergic reaction to cheese at a school in England. Police are investigating whether another pupil deliberately flicked cheese at him or even pushed it into his mouth and down his throat.

This would not have happened if pupils had all been taught not to tease or disrupt others.

First consider:
1 It is a sign of ill will.
2 An attempt to get attention.
3 A distraction from group school work and friendly activities and friendship.
4 Ignorance of the possible severity of consequences.
5 It destroys friendship.
6 it takes up the time of parents, school staff and police investigating incidents.
7 It damages the reputation of the attacker.
8 It stresses the victim and the witnesses, both pupils and parents, school staff and prospective pupils and prospective pupils' parents and prospective teaching staff and administrators.
9 If schools don't already they should have a list of school rules and reasons to include:

Possible Rules For Schools and/or Pupil's Own Perusal or Family Conduct
I do not tease.
I do not mock.
I do not bully.
I do not touch another person's property.
I do not take school property.
I do not respond to bets nor dares.
I do not deface nor take signs.
I report accidental damage and apologise.

Why?
I might endanger another person.
I might distress another person, their family, school staff.
I could waste the time of pupils, parents and staff.
A joke could be very expensive if anybody has to buy another item.
I could damage the reputation of myself, my family, the staff, my school.
I could cause others to take revenge.
I could be denied a place in my favourite class, sports activity or school.

Long term results of gaining a reputation for being a nuisance:
You might not be taken on a school trip or holiday.
Teachers might refuse to take a school trip or holiday.
The school might close because pupils are removed by parents.
Interfering with food could cause somebody else to die.
Interfering with fire alarms could cause people to ignore them in a real emergency and die.
If you do naughty things at school and get away with it you are likely to be copied by others and to continue to do so at college.
Your bad reputation might stop teachers from giving you a good reference for your first choice college or your first job application.
Your bad reputation at college could stop other parents investing money in your parents' business.

Stories
1 When our son was at school his elderly and frail grandmother bought him a new laptop for his birthday. Other boy or boys took out part of it so he could not use it. As a result he was distressed. I as a parent was distressed. His grandmother was distressed.

Later, computers went missing. The boys who took parts of others' laptops were suspected. ((The culprit turned out to be the boarding school caretaker. This was found out when somebody went back and the item had gone missing when all the boys were out. A member of staff went around the whole building and found the missing laptop in the basement to which only the caretaker had access.

However, the point is that those who took small items were later suspected of bigger thefts.

The caretaker was not suspected. Why? Because the frequent minor thefts by school boys led staff to think the thief must be one of the boys trying out small thefts to see if he could get away with it.

Years on I feel hostile to his former schoolfriends, staff, and the school, and decline to give the money to any appeals by or for old boys or the school because I feel they did not set rules and could not be trusted. Even if I were to decide that I am being unreasonable, I would still have a gut feeling, an instinct to keep away and not get involved.

2 When our son was at university another pupil set off a fire alarm for a joke on a regular basis. Eventually our son discovered who it was. He did not tell me the name of the person because I threatened to write to the college. Besides, neither he nor I could not prove who it was.

After our son had left college, I was asked if I wanted to invest money in a business connected with one of his friends.

I asked, "Was that pupil was one who set off the fire alarm? I do not want to be involved, if it was him and his family."

If I was not told categorically that he was not the person involved, or I was told that nobody could be sure who it was, I would simply not trust anybody my son knows from that era.

3 I have read numerous stories of people taking selfies and doing dangerous things. One boy in Singapore died jumping over a barrier onto what looked like a marble ledge. It was merely painted. It was not strong enough to bear the weight of a person although it conformed to architectural legislation. The friend who was going to take his photo was also going to do the same thing next. Even if it had taken the weight of the first person, it might not have withstood the weight of two.
Romanian sign warning of drunk on road. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

4 At a party somebody sat on a table. A table does not take weights designed by chairs which support people. The table was strong enough for one person. However, when he pulled me onto his lap, the table broke. This cost us money in offering pay. The host had to live without the item which could not be replaced. We paid for a gift. The gift was probably not as much as the cost of buying not one table but a next of two or three tables. I am forever uncomfortable. Maybe the host was not comfortable with us.

5 A woman in Wales left her child in a parked car on a slipway. (Reported in an online newspaper 20 March 2018.) When the mother came out of the building, the car was gone. She thought the car had been stolen with the child inside. That's one possible bad outcome. Another is that the animal or child interferes with the handbrake. the sad outcome was that the car was found under water.

The morals are:
1 School pupils should not touch other people's property.
2 You do not bully.
3 You do not dare others to take risks nor take risks yourself.
4 You only stand on surfaces designed for people to stand on them. You don't take risks. You only sit on chairs designed for people to sit on them.
5 Do not leave children or animals in parked cars.

Schools should have lists of actions pupils should take, and actions pupils should not take.

Useful Warning Websites
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5520049/Girl-three-rescued-RIVER.html#reader-comments

Angela Lansbury, author, parent, tutor, teacher. Please share links to your favourite posts.

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Sunday, July 09, 2017

 

How I Won Best Table Topics Ribbon for an impromptu speech on Collaboration



At Harrovian Speakers club on Monday July 3rd, 2017 I was the best table topics speaker ribbon for an impromptu speech on Collaboration.

I said:

I helped organize a session on mentoring at the Club Officer training. Only two people at this (Harrovians Speakers club) meeting, Kavita and me, were there, so it will be news to you
this was a collaboration from the start.

My speech on mentoring at HOD Toastmasters club had seen by Kavita, Area Director,  who asked me to run a session demonstrating mentoring at the Club officer Training, attended by committee members of the four clubs in the area.

Kavita said it was a 15 minute spot, which I could share with two members of my mentoring committee, Loran and Ruth. Easy. I only had to speak for five minutes. Easy. I'd given sessions on mentoring previously using HQ slides.

I just needed to check that Ruth and Lorna and I did not overlap. I emailed Ruth and Lorna and asked one of them to speak on mentoring advantages for clubs, and mentors, and mentees. and one to speak on the challenges of pairing up mentors and mentees. They both emailed back, useful information. But both were away on the training date.

So I emailed Indra, who was my original mentor, and had done mentoring sessions with me previously. I want away on holiday, leaving Indra to liaise with Kavita. I told Kavita I had no time to make new slides. So she asked a member of an in house club to make slides.

On the night it was a great success. We needed with my calling Indra on stage, demonstrating taking a selfie of mentor and mentee, which is done in Singapore. Six people collaboration for a successful session.

Angela Lansbury, B A Hons, CL, ACG.

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How I Won Best Evaluator ribbon for evaluating a first speech



I won the best evaluator ribbon for my evaluation of Fabrizio's Icebreaker first speech at Harrovian Speakers club, a Toastmaster International club. Date July 3, 2017 Monday at the church hall of St Lawrence's Church.

"Fabrizio, well done for giving the Icebreaker speech, and rehearsing it with your mentor, me. Fabrizio completed the objectives of the first project in the Speech Manual. He found skills he had, and demonstrated to us, a confident speaker whose speech flowed.

"He gave a speech which combined a first speech which introduces us to the speaker, and a later speech, on motivating an audience to succeed at something. He told us how he sought success, was a perfectionist, which is why he joined Toastmasters to improve his speaking. That's a goal we share.

"He began by engaging the audience with a question, put your hands up, those of you who want to be perfect and think you are perfect. Hands went up and down and people laughed. Nobody wants to boast.

"It's great to engage the audience with a question, and to make a joke.

"Now, I'll tell you a secret. I'm his mentor and heard the first version of his speech. They say there are three versions of every speech, the one you prepared, the one you gave and the one you wish you had given. His verist prepared version told us three things about him. Fist his Italian origin, which explains his name, and he goes on holiday to Italy. Secondly that he lives in Mill Hill. Thirdly that he has a Hamster. I'd have liked personal stories, of his success. Was moving to Mill Hill a success. Was keeping a hamster a success. Plus props. A map of Italy or a picture of Mill Hill or his Hamster. Maybe he had succeeded in finishing his speech by rehearsing it to his hamster.

"His ending quoting Mohammed Ali was good. But I've forgotten it already. In order for us to remember the quotation, maybe give it out as a slide or a handout, or a business card with a quotation.

"This speech can be used again later as part of a motivational speech. I'd love to hear it again as a revised first speech, with more details about his success. Well done, on completing a first speech."

Records
To keep a record of ribbons I have won, and what for and when, this is what I do:
1I write out the details on a self-adhesive address label which I stick on the back of the ribbon.
2 I frame the ribbon.
3 I make a note when I have my evaluation recorded in my leadership manual.
4 I photograph myself receiving the ribbon.
5 I write a blog post about what I said to win.
6 I keep a tally in my diary of the number of ribbons won during the year.

I have more than 50 ribbons won in the UK where I belong to two clubs, HOD and Harrovians, which meet two or three times a month, so I go to a Toastmasters meeting four or five times a month. That is when I am in the UK.

I spend a lot of time in Singapore and also on at least two other overseas trips a year. In Singapore I belong to Braddell Heights Advanced Toastmasters Club. I have additional ribbons framed in Singapore where I attend a Toastmasters meeting almost every night for a month or more each year.

In the UK have run out of space for picture frames not he wall, and room in the frames for ribbons. Therefore I am slotting ribbons into spaces around pictures.


Angela Lansbury, B A Hons, ACG CL 

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