Friday, May 04, 2018
Become Invisible! A humorous impromptu speech
Impromptu Speech Topic - Become invisible
I was asked to speak on this topic at Francophone, the French group in Singapore.
This is what I said, in English (French below later):
Become invisible - what a dreadful idea! You might hear people talking about you and saying rude things which you would not want to hear. I would feel insulted, outraged. How could they say such dreadful things about me? I'm a nice person, a sweetie.
Things could not get any worse - yes, they could. They don't know I'm here - and they are taking their clothes off! Please don't do that. They can't see me.
Oh, my God! I'm not looking!
I'll go next door. Oh, look, a lovely buffet, so I'll join the queue. But nobody has noticed me. They haven't given me any food.
I'm really going off this being invisible lark. Nobody's talking to me.
I shall just have to sing to myself. Oops, I'm signing, sharp, or is it flat? Luckily nobody knows it's me. Maybe there are some advantages to being invisible.
***
Devinir invisible!
Quel horreur. Vous pouvey entendre ce que les gens disent á votre subjet, votre charactère. Alors. C'est affreux. Ce n'est-ce pas vrais. Je suis une personne adorable.
Ce n'est pas possible que cela sera pire. Oui. C'est possible. Ils ramene leures vêtement, enlève leurs vêtments. Arretez vous!
Mais on ne me vois pas. Ils sont nus.
Et maintenant - oh! Je ne regarde pas!
Ils faut d'aller d'ailleurs. Au buffet. Je dois joindre les autres. Mais ils ont recu toutes les fruits. Il n'ya rien pour mois. Ils ne peux pas voir que je suis ici. J'ai faim.
Rien á faire. Je vai chanter toute seule. Hélas, je chante faux. Tant pis. Personne peux entendre, ce n'est pas moi. Peutêtre devenir invisible peux être bons.
I was asked to speak on this topic at Francophone, the French group in Singapore.
This is what I said, in English (French below later):
Become invisible - what a dreadful idea! You might hear people talking about you and saying rude things which you would not want to hear. I would feel insulted, outraged. How could they say such dreadful things about me? I'm a nice person, a sweetie.
Things could not get any worse - yes, they could. They don't know I'm here - and they are taking their clothes off! Please don't do that. They can't see me.
Oh, my God! I'm not looking!
I'll go next door. Oh, look, a lovely buffet, so I'll join the queue. But nobody has noticed me. They haven't given me any food.
I'm really going off this being invisible lark. Nobody's talking to me.
I shall just have to sing to myself. Oops, I'm signing, sharp, or is it flat? Luckily nobody knows it's me. Maybe there are some advantages to being invisible.
***
Devinir invisible!
Quel horreur. Vous pouvey entendre ce que les gens disent á votre subjet, votre charactère. Alors. C'est affreux. Ce n'est-ce pas vrais. Je suis une personne adorable.
Ce n'est pas possible que cela sera pire. Oui. C'est possible. Ils ramene leures vêtement, enlève leurs vêtments. Arretez vous!
Mais on ne me vois pas. Ils sont nus.
Et maintenant - oh! Je ne regarde pas!
Ils faut d'aller d'ailleurs. Au buffet. Je dois joindre les autres. Mais ils ont recu toutes les fruits. Il n'ya rien pour mois. Ils ne peux pas voir que je suis ici. J'ai faim.
Rien á faire. Je vai chanter toute seule. Hélas, je chante faux. Tant pis. Personne peux entendre, ce n'est pas moi. Peutêtre devenir invisible peux être bons.
Labels: be invisible, buffet, humour, hungry, naked, no food, remove clothes, sing flat, sing sharp
Sunday, April 03, 2016
What To Do When The Mike and Power and Lights Go Out
On LinkedIn a member of Toastmasters International asked what people would do when lights go out.
Luckily nowadays many mobiles are designed with a light. Check your smart phone so you can find how to turn it on in the dark.
If one person in the room can turn on their mobile or iPad or laptop screen, that light will enable the other people in the audience to find their mobile phones and switch them on.
You can use a water bottle to amplify light like a lantern. A mirror or even a reflective lipstick case can be used to reflect light. Instead of a roving microphone, you could move around he audience with a lit up phone to shine on the face of speakers in the audience. Best to have no more than one person moving about the room.
Backup Power
Organisers should have a backup power system.
If one person in the room can turn on their mobile or iPad or laptop screen, that light will enable the other people in the audience to find their mobile phones and switch them on.
You can use a water bottle to amplify light like a lantern. A mirror or even a reflective lipstick case can be used to reflect light. Instead of a roving microphone, you could move around he audience with a lit up phone to shine on the face of speakers in the audience. Best to have no more than one person moving about the room.
Backup Power
Organisers should have a backup power system.
Prinouts
If your speech uses slides, have a printout of each slide in colour, A5 or A4 or better still A3 to hold up.
Teaching
Teaching
My worst plunge into darkness was teaching English in a room with no windows. Luckily I used to speak on radio, so I just pretended I was on radio doing phone ins.
Always check the exits on arrival in case of an emergency. Then at least you can make for doors in an emergency and call others to follow you.
Table Topics
Always check the exits on arrival in case of an emergency. Then at least you can make for doors in an emergency and call others to follow you.
Table Topics
If lights go out during table topics, change the topics to humorous stories about what I did in an emergency.
If you know the audience well you might be able to get some funny lines in, such as, "You two at the back, stop smooching. The lights could come on any minute!" Or, "I'm afraid of the dark. Can somebody hold my hand? Any lonely millionaire will do."
Angela Lansbury, author and speaker.
If you know the audience well you might be able to get some funny lines in, such as, "You two at the back, stop smooching. The lights could come on any minute!" Or, "I'm afraid of the dark. Can somebody hold my hand? Any lonely millionaire will do."
Angela Lansbury, author and speaker.
Labels: humour, iPad, laptop. lantern, microphone, phone ins, power outage, printout, radio, slides, smart phone, teaching
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Today I was in a competition. Humorous Speech. Table topics (impromptu speech).
I didn't win either competition at next level. I was a bit fed up about this. I ate lots of donuts afterwards and ended up with a sugar hangover.
I came back and went out to dinner with my son.
He said consolingly, 'You've just started aiming higher. This time two years ago, you thought it was wonderful when you completed ten speeches.'
For me visiting a solicitor or a doctor or dentist are far worse than giving a speech.
My son who knows me agrees with me that people who see me happily giving a speech think I am super confident, which is ludicrous, when many days I am so afraid of life that I don't step outside my front door for fear of being knocked over by a car again.
Of course, paying thousands of pounds in solicitor's fees or taxes is more important than winning a competition, which I might win next year.
It is often said that people are more afraid of giving a speech then dying. But compared with dying, I can't see why a single person would think giving a speech is worse than dying. I rather think that thinking about dying puts the whole thing of being afraid about giving a speech in perspective.
The speakers' club president asked if I was nervous. I looked at him as if he was nuts. I knew most of the people in the room. They are only people.
He asked if I was afraid of anything.
I thought for a minute. I replied: 'Bungee jumping. But that's not something I ever have to do.'
After the meeting the woman who kindly gave me a lift to and from the meeting asked to see my book about my family history. I had mentioned it in table topics and when interviewed in the interval when they count the votes. She wants to publish a similar book about her mother's life story. I think helping somebody publish their life story is the most valuable thing I did today.
I didn't win either competition at next level. I was a bit fed up about this. I ate lots of donuts afterwards and ended up with a sugar hangover.
I came back and went out to dinner with my son.
He said consolingly, 'You've just started aiming higher. This time two years ago, you thought it was wonderful when you completed ten speeches.'
For me visiting a solicitor or a doctor or dentist are far worse than giving a speech.
My son who knows me agrees with me that people who see me happily giving a speech think I am super confident, which is ludicrous, when many days I am so afraid of life that I don't step outside my front door for fear of being knocked over by a car again.
Of course, paying thousands of pounds in solicitor's fees or taxes is more important than winning a competition, which I might win next year.
It is often said that people are more afraid of giving a speech then dying. But compared with dying, I can't see why a single person would think giving a speech is worse than dying. I rather think that thinking about dying puts the whole thing of being afraid about giving a speech in perspective.
The speakers' club president asked if I was nervous. I looked at him as if he was nuts. I knew most of the people in the room. They are only people.
He asked if I was afraid of anything.
I thought for a minute. I replied: 'Bungee jumping. But that's not something I ever have to do.'
After the meeting the woman who kindly gave me a lift to and from the meeting asked to see my book about my family history. I had mentioned it in table topics and when interviewed in the interval when they count the votes. She wants to publish a similar book about her mother's life story. I think helping somebody publish their life story is the most valuable thing I did today.
Labels: comments on speech, fear., humour, winning
